Religion; How I was Banned from the Church

The Dark Side of Religion

Growing up, my mother and I used to attend the Catholic church for years. Having the same pastor and a familiar congregation for years made the experience feel wholesome and even fun.

On some Sundays, the church would hold a special brunch in the basement, and everyone was welcome - even those who weren't a part of the congregation. At one point I even wanted to become an altar boy, following the footsteps of my neighbor's eldest son, whose family also attended the church.

I received the blessing of Confirmation at the age of 6 and was now able to participate in Sunday Masses like everyone else. It felt amazing to fully engage in the church and officially become a part of the congregation. I then had my sight set on becoming an altar boy, so I had to attend CCD classes (similar to Sunday Bible school but held on a Saturday in the summer months).

At the age of 7, I was attending my classes in the church and apparently there was going to be a change in pastors within the coming months, as our pastor decided that it was time to retire. In the middle of summer, we were introduced to our new pastor at Sunday Mass and had a social event afterwards. He was a nice person with a stern hand for the Catholic Church.

At one of the CCD classes, we were learning about relationships and procreation, and how babies were brought into the world according to the Bible. Now, I had a very open mind and as it was discussed that babies, whether male or female, were conceived from a man and a woman. It was also made known that only a male-female relationship was allowed and was blessed with a child.

In my mind, I had always thought that two males could make a male baby, and two females could produce a female baby. Mind you, I was still very young and 'the birds and the bees' weren't a conversation that I had with my parents yet.

Confused and curious, I questioned why two males, or two females could not have a relationship if this is how babies are made. The instructor, who happened to be a Den Mother of the Cub Scouts den I attended, immediately called the new pastor and I was left without an answer. When she was done with her conversation, I was instructed to go up to the pastor's office.

When I got to the pastor's office, he said that I had a specific question that needed answering. I agreed and we started our discussion. I ended up questioning the male-male and female-female relationships, since one of our neighbors and a few of my mother's good friends had this kind of relationship after he quoted scriptures from the Bible about relationships and marriage.

After he and I repeating ourselves several times, I then questioned the scripture in the Bible and asked for some sort of verification the God had officially written these passages. His answer was simply, "because we know" and I should not be questioning the word of God otherwise you will damned to hell. In my eyes, God loves everyone - and this put a dent in my religious beliefs.

He then called my mother and asked her to come down to the church.

When my mother arrived, I was asked to go wait outside. Still confused and unanswered, I went to the front steps of the church and sat down while the pastor and my mother had a private conversation. After my mother came out, she was very upset. I had no idea why and told her what happened on the way home. She was just simply quiet for a few days.

The following week, I was getting ready to go to CCD class and my mother told me that we weren't going. I asked why and she didn't want to answer me. After a few hours I asked her again, and at this point my father was standing with us. Now, my father doesn't have a religious molecule within his body, and he outburst, "Because you and your mother have been banned from the church and associating with the congregation. Your mother lost her church and friends because of YOU! Because of the way YOU think and questioned the pastor, he decided that it was best to cut ties with YOU and your mother!". My mother then replied to my father, "I would rather have my child than a church full of hate".

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak.

A few months later my mother finally told me that the real reason why the pastor banned us from church was because she had a 'gay' son, and I was marked by the Devil. He also didn't want my influences to be spread among the other children within the church.

I was 7 years old. I had no idea what 'gay' meant. I didn't feel evil. I felt like me.

I intentionally wrote this piece as a summary. If I were to go into great detail about the experience, I could probably write a book.